Monday, May 18, 2009

Reach out

Well, it's like this. I debated about posting this. In the end, this blog is a sort of mini diary, plus, I'm a person with feelings and all of that, so I decided to go ahead.

Last week, a member of my wife's family died, so I was off and doing all of the stuff involved with that. I'm very fortunate in that I'm close to all of the members of my wife's family. They're extremely good people, and I'm blessed that I live near them and they are a part of my every day life.

I thought about writing some words about the wonderful lady who passed, but my meager words could not even attempt do this good and kind person the justice that she deserves. I've been running the full gamut of emotions. I'm sad, of course. Bitter, that a life ended entirely too soon. Confused on how things turned so quickly. The list goes on.

Since my words won't do to describe her and what a cornerstone she was the the family, I'm going with a different approach. So, today, I bring forth a couple of points. They're pretty much the same point, but present two different facets of it.

First off.. there's a whole list of things that we all say "oh yeah, I'm going to do that one day." Are you? Life is short. You need to make it a point to do these things. Push your limits just a bit, even. You might do it and not like it, but at least you've tried it.

As trite as it sounds, a couple of years ago, I started 3 lists. The first is a "life long goals & to-do" list, the second a "movies to watch" list, and the last is a "books to read" list. I've knocked a couple off of the first one (not as many as I should), and made good progress on the other two. It's good to see the list written down. It serves as a constant reminder of things you planned for yourself.

Try new things. Even little things. If you go to a restaurant, don't order the same thing you always get. Branch out. Expand yourself as a person. Pick up a new hobby. Take a class. Whatever. Push yourself. Don't find yourself looking back saying "where did the time go?"

My second point is this.. Do you have some family or a friend you haven't reached out to lately? You say "oh, I'll talk to them tomorrow." Then tomorrow becomes "next week", followed by "next month". You know how it goes. Take the time. Give them a call. Send them a note. Just reach out. You never know when the last time you can talk to them will be.

Yeah, some family members, some activities, it may be somewhat of a hassle. It may not be what you really wanted to do that day. But, it's often the right thing to do. I think I speak for a lot of us when I say that a majority of what we do really isn't that important. Sure, it may seem important at the time. But really, if you look at the grand scheme of things, it's not.

I'm fortunate that I was there and I did the things I could do for my family member. (I've previously been in situations where I hadn't, and that really sucks.) Why is it, though, that we go through these experiences and say "Oh, I'm going to change how I live.", and then some time later, we're back to doing the same shit we always do?

Alright, that's all. Tomorrow, I'll get back on the semi-regularly scheduled program, and attempt to catch up with you all.


Carly said...

I am so sorry for your loss! This was a great post and a great reminder to live it up now because life is WAY too short.

Denise said...

I'm sorry for your loss. But you're so right. Sometimes it takes something like this to wake the rest of us up. Hang in there.

tfh said...

Thank you for writing this post-- I'm so sorry about your and your wife's family's loss, but also grateful that you took a sad moment to remember something I sometimes TRY to forget, but would only regret-- that it's important to reach out to those we love while they're still around. Hope your wife is doing okay.

Mel-2nd Chances said...

sorry for both of your losses... and a great tribute. A great reminder that life is indeed short.

Glaven Q. Heisenberg said...

This is a great way to commemorate someone because most of the time we just write eulogies and, as you acknowledge, those eulogies tend to trot out the same hackneyed, though heart-felt, phrases. It is difficult to come up with something new, much less something that does the lost loved one justice.

But I think this reminder of yours to LIVE LIFE, and to try not to do so selfishly but rather communally, is a really good way to pay respects to your lost relative.

I NEVER write down things like books I want to read and movies I want to see thinking, "O, I'll remember."

And then I never do.

Maybe it's time to start.

Sorry for your loss, brother.

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry for you loss. But, this was a great post. Everything you wrote is so very true. Thanks for reminding us.